Our Society and the Complex of “Spinsterhood
There are no clear, proven statistics to determine the rate of spinsterhood among Syrian women in Syrian society. Therefore, we can reference a statistic from the Ministry of Social Affairs of the Syrian regime’s government that 3 million Syrian girls who are single and have passed the age of thirty without getting married. According to the statistic, the rate of spinsterhood is close to 70% according to social standards.
Social Standards for Spinsterhood in Syria:
Social standards vary depending on the region and the diverse Syrian customs, but they are somewhat similar in nature.
Age Consideration:
In a field study conducted by our team in Northwestern Syria, we found that the normal marriage age for girls is between 17 to 24 years.
In some villages, especially in the eastern, northern, and some southern villages, as told to us by displaced people from those areas, a girl who reaches the age of 20 is considered a spinster.
Beauty Consideration:
A beautiful girl is considered eligible for early marriage, while a girl not considered beautiful by social norms does not have the opportunity for early or normal marriage. Instead, she is viewed as a spinster from childhood, often made to understand that her future involves marriage to a widower or a man with children.
Religion Consideration:
The religion encourages marrying young girls, and the famous saying of the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, “Why not a young virgin whom you can play with and she can play with you?” is well-known. Therefore, the phenomenon of avoiding marriage with spinsters is considered natural.
Tradition Consideration:
Syrian traditions consider marrying a virgin as normal marriage, and marrying a spinster as a second-class marriage.
Thus, a wedding celebration may not be held for her, or she may not receive an equal dowry compared to her younger counterparts.
Education Consideration:
There is still a societal view in Syria that a woman’s role is only in the home, and therefore her educational needs are only to educate her children in the early stages.
This poses a dilemma for girls between continuing their education or getting married.
Reasons for Spinsterhood:
Our field study concluded a list of reasons, which we clarify according to their priority:
1- The ongoing war in Syria since 2012, which has distanced communication between families, leading to spinsterhood due to some families’ fears of marrying into families from different areas or unknown to them.
2- Migration, internal displacement, and seeking refuge outside Syria, as internal displacement causes family instability, and seeking refuge abroad distracts the youth from marriage by focusing on resettlement.
3- The difficult economic conditions that make starting a family and young people marrying early a significant barrier, especially with the rising costs of marriage and dowries that do not consider the current circumstances.
4- Changes in values and social attitudes, where sometimes youth and girls prefer to pursue university education, then stabilize, even temporarily, before marriage, delaying the marriage age for both parties.
5- Psychological tensions and challenges, leading some to delay or avoid marriage, not considering it a priority amid the prevalence of anxiety about an uncertain future, significantly affecting the youth’s marriage decisions.
6- The shrinking base of youth under thirty willing to marry, whether due to war casualties, imprisonment, work abroad, or settling in another country.
Conclusion:
It is apparent that the Syrian social situation has completely changed, like the change in mentality, which has become more aware of the great responsibility due to the complexity of current circumstances. However, these changes have not significantly altered the old mentality towards girls’ spinsterhood. Therefore, we recommend the following from the Family Affairs Office of the Syrian Future Movement:
1- Raise awareness in society about the importance of marriage and family, and that spinsterhood is not a problem, as even the Prophet of Islam married Khadijah, who was older than him, hence religion in its essence should not be seen as advocating for a specific marriage age.
2- Organize awareness campaigns in schools and universities about the importance of marriage and family life, which we are working on in the Tawad educational school series, and within our social awareness projects in the Syrian Future Movement, despite the significant challenges and the need for concerted efforts and increased support.
3- Improve the quality of education and provide job opportunities during this period, work towards a real political solution that moves Syria from a state of war to a state of reconstruction, and seek temporary and permanent economic solutions for the present and future.
4- Change the negative social perception of spinsterhood, encourage youth to balance achieving their future, professional, and educational goals before marriage, as with marriage, and conduct guidance courses to educate society on the possibility of this balance, not considering marriage as an obstacle to achieving future goals, but as a support to achieve them.
5- Encourage normal marriage and not delay it, and work to provide society with all the necessities for it through establishing social associations and entities.
6- Encourage polygamy for polygamy for those who are able, especially among Syrians themselves, to meet the dire natural need among the category of spinsters for a decent and proper connection, and to consider the reasons for their delayed marriage due to the war and its consequences.
Finally, we advise girls not to succumb to the social culture of spinsterhood and to look for realistic solutions to overcome it.
We at the Family Affairs Office of the Syrian Future Movement are ready to offer all types of assistance, assessment, and study for this, including the research and studies department which welcomes all ideas to solve this issue and other social issues, presenting them to the Syrian public opinion with appropriate recommendations.
Iman Al-Muhammad
Family Affairs Office
Syrian Future Movement