Family Disintegration: Marital Infidelity as a Model

The challenges currently facing the Syrian family are numerous and intertwined, including several key challenges:

1. War and displacement, which have destroyed infrastructure, displaced millions, and caused many families to lose members and property.
2. The economic crisis, which, combined with war and sanctions, has led to economic collapse, high inflation, and poverty, making it extremely difficult to meet basic needs.
3. Domestic violence, with increasing rates of domestic violence due to the psychological and social pressures resulting from war, displacement, and the economic crisis.
4. Early marriage, as many families resort to marrying off their daughters at a young age as a means of protection or to improve their financial situation.
5. Loss of education, with many children deprived of education due to school destruction and displacement, affecting their future.

These issues collectively pose a significant threat to the stability and future of the Syrian family.

Family Disintegration:

The causes of family disintegration are complex, influenced by multiple and intertwined factors, varying from society to society and family to family. In Syria’s case, war, displacement, and the economic crisis have exacerbated this problem.

The most prominent causes of family disintegration in general, and in Syria in particular, include:

1. War and violence, which have destroyed homes and cities, displaced families, and placed severe psychological and social pressure on family members, leading to the deterioration of family relationships.
2. Poverty and unemployment, which exacerbate financial problems. According to a World Bank report, more than 50% of the poorest populations live in just three provinces (Aleppo, Hama, and Deir ez-Zor). The northeastern provinces of Syria record the highest poverty rates, with women-headed households and internally displaced families being the most vulnerable to poverty. This leads to tension and psychological pressure among family members, increasing the risk of separation.
3. Domestic violence, whether physical or psychological, has increased significantly. Statistics documented by the “Sara Organization for Combating Violence Against Women,” active in northern and eastern Syria, reported at least 180 cases of assault, abuse, and violence against women in 2023, in addition to 21 cases of murder and 73 cases of suicide, believed to be mostly due to domestic violence and psychological pressure. This violence destroys trust between spouses, making the continuation of the marital relationship impossible.
4. Early marriage often results from social or economic pressures and may lead to the immaturity of the spouses and their inability to bear the responsibilities of marriage, increasing the risk of divorce. Statistics indicate that early marriage before the age of 15 is about 2%, while the rate rises to 13% for early marriage before girls reach the age of 18.
5. Marital infidelity is one of the leading causes of marriage breakdowns, leading to a loss of trust between spouses and the destruction of the marital relationship, which we aim to explore in this paper.
6. Rapid societal changes, the spread of social media, and the influence of Western cultures contribute to changing family values and traditions, affecting family stability.
7. The lack of a strong social safety net and support from friends and relatives makes families more susceptible to disintegration.

To address this issue, a range of actions must be taken, including providing psychological and social support to affected families, strengthening awareness programs about the importance of the family, providing suitable employment opportunities, combating domestic violence, and developing laws that protect family rights.

It is important to note that these are just some of the main causes of family disintegration, and many other factors may contribute to this problem.

About Marital Infidelity:

The Doha Institute for Family Studies, a member of the Qatar Foundation for Education, Science, and Community Development, conducted a survey report on the assessment of marital relationships during the first five years of marriage in the Arab world, in collaboration with the Arab League. The report concluded with several findings that help achieve family harmony and reduce divorce rates in the Arab world. The report identified several causes of divorce, especially in the first five years of marriage, including infidelity.

According to statements by Judge Walid Kallasli, the divorce rate has reached 50% of marriages. Regarding divorce cases due to infidelity, Kallasli explained that “after the emergence and development of social media, a comparison of divorce cases before and after its advent revealed new cases of divorce unfamiliar to all human societies, including marital infidelity. Infidelity has evolved through messaging, chatting, and sending immoral videos, and the discovery of such infidelity by one spouse often leads to Sharia courts, resulting in divorce, family breakdown, and the loss of children.”

Marital infidelity takes many forms and is not limited to physical aspects. Infidelity can be categorized in various ways:

By Nature of the Relationship:

1. Sexual Infidelity: The most common form, involving any sexual relationship with someone other than the spouse.
2. Emotional Infidelity: Involves forming a strong emotional bond with someone else, which may include feelings of love and care without sexual activity.
3. Emotional and Sexual Infidelity: Combines both the above, involving both a strong emotional relationship and a sexual one.

By Means:

1. Visual Infidelity: Involves looking at others in a lustful way or indulging in watching pornography.
2. Auditory Infidelity: Involves listening to sexual conversations or audio material.
3. Verbal Infidelity: Involves exchanging romantic or sexual words and messages with someone else.
4. Mental or Imaginary Infidelity: Involves continuously thinking about someone else as an ideal partner and imagining a relationship with them.

By Degree of Severity:

1. Temporary Infidelity: A short-term, fleeting relationship.
2. Persistent Infidelity: A long-term relationship that may last for years.
3. Incidental Infidelity: Occurs due to certain circumstances and may not be repeated.
4. Deliberate Infidelity: Done intentionally and with full will.

As for the causes of marital infidelity, they are diverse, and the most prominent ones include:

1. Problems in the marital relationship, such as lack of communication, routine, ongoing conflicts, and sexual dissatisfaction.
2. Feelings of loneliness and isolation may drive a person to seek emotional warmth outside the marriage.
3. Psychological pressures, such as work stress, financial problems, and illness.
4. Moral and religious weakness may lead some people to infidelity due to a lack of commitment to moral values.
5. Revenge, as some individuals may resort to infidelity as a form of retaliation against their partner.

The effects of marital infidelity include deep psychological and social impacts on all family members, leading to the destruction of trust, as it is difficult to restore trust after infidelity, and psychological pain, as both the unfaithful partner and the betrayed spouse experience significant emotional distress. Additionally, infidelity can lead to problems in raising children and may result in divorce and family disintegration.

Marital infidelity is a complex behavior with multiple causes that cannot be fully captured in these categories. Each case has its own circumstances that must be studied individually, but infidelity remains a deep wound that threatens the foundations of the family, and it is considered one of the most severe causes of family breakdown and the destruction of mutual trust between spouses.

The most prominent reasons for marital infidelity include:

1. Loss of love and romance: Over time, couples may miss the excitement and passion they felt at the beginning of the relationship, leading them to seek it outside of marriage.
2. Daily routine: The daily routine may cause couples to feel bored and dissatisfied, prompting them to seek new and exciting experiences.
3. Inability to communicate effectively and resolve conflicts, and failure to listen to the partner’s needs, are all factors that contribute to widening the gap between spouses, pushing one of them to seek emotional support outside the relationship.
4. Exposure to work pressures, financial problems, and family responsibilities may affect an individual’s psychological state, leading them to seek an escape from these pressures.
5. Opportunities for infidelity, such as work or travel, may increase the likelihood of infidelity, especially if the marital relationship is weak.

Effects of Marital Infidelity on the Family:

• Family Breakdown: In many cases, infidelity leads to separation and divorce, destroying the family and separating children from one or both parents.

How to Deal with Marital Infidelity:

The biggest cause of societal disintegration, not just family disintegration, is marital infidelity in all its forms and aspects, but is there a way to deal with such cases?

Our field study at the Family Affairs Office of the Syrian Future Movement shows that there are mechanisms that can be used in the case of marital infidelity to mitigate its consequences, including:

1. Speaking openly and transparently: Spouses should express their feelings and the reasons for infidelity and work to understand the root of the problem.
2. Seeking professional help: Turning to a family counselor may be necessary to deal with the effects of infidelity and rebuild the relationship.
3. Rebuilding trust: Although it requires significant time and effort, spouses need to work hard to repair the relationship.
4. Forgiveness: Although difficult, it may be necessary to save the marriage.

Preventing Marital Infidelity:

1. Prevention comes through building a strong relationship based on love, respect, and continuous communication, resolving problems peacefully, maintaining open communication, spending quality time together to reignite the spark of love, and paying attention to the spiritual aspect and commitment to moral values, which helps strengthen the marital relationship.
2. Marital infidelity is a deep wound that is difficult to heal, but it can be avoided by building a strong relationship based on love, respect, and mutual trust.

Afra Al-Haddad
Family Affairs Office
Research and Studies Department
Studies
Syrian Future Movement

References:

• Infidelity and Stubbornness… A Report Observing the Causes of Divorce in the First Five Years of Marriage in the Arab World.
• The Legal Implications of Early Marriage in Syria
• Women as Victims in Various Forms: From Domestic Violence to Violations and Crimes Associated with Conflict
• Poverty Traps 14.5 Million Syrians in Their Country