Traditional punishments and their impact on raising children.

Introduction:

The practices of punishment in child-rearing in Syria vary significantly between families and communities, influenced by traditions, education levels, and socio-economic conditions. However, we can identify some general points on this topic:

1. Physical Punishment: Physical punishment was common in the past, but awareness is growing about its psychological and physical harm to the child. Nevertheless, it is still practiced in some families, especially in rural areas.
2. Psychological Punishments: These include deprivation from activities, severe scolding, and emotional neglect. Such punishments may leave deep psychological impacts on the child.
3. Positive Discipline: In recent years, positive disciplinary methods have started to spread, including rewards and praise for positive behavior, explaining the reasons behind punishment, and involving the child in problem-solving.

Key Reasons for Resorting to Punishment:

1. Imitation: Many parents resort to the same methods they were raised with, believing them to be the correct way.
2. Pressure: Parents may resort to punishment due to psychological or social pressure, or difficulties in dealing with the child’s behavior.

Lack of Knowledge: Some parents lack knowledge of modern parenting methods or find it difficult to apply them.

Therefore, there is a need to raise awareness among parents about the importance of positive parenting, the harms of punishment, and providing them with support through awareness programs and workshops, which is what we focus on at the Syrian Future Movement’s Family Affairs Office.

On Negatives and Positives:
The negative effects of disciplinary punishment on children are numerous and varied, potentially significantly impacting their psychological and behavioral development. Among the most notable negatives are:

1. Negative Impact on Mental Health: Repeated or severe punishments can lead to feelings of fear, anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem in children. This may result in future behavioral issues such as aggression, introversion, or more serious psychological disorders.
2. Weakening of Parent-Child Relationship: Frequent punishments often lead to a deterioration in the relationship between parents and children, creating an atmosphere of fear and distrust instead of love and mutual respect.
3. Ineffectiveness in Behavior Change: In many cases, punishment does not result in lasting behavior change but may only temporarily suppress unwanted behavior.
4. Reinforcing Negative Behavior: Punishments may focus on the child’s negative behavior, reinforcing it instead of encouraging positive behavior.
5. Development of Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms: Children may resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as lying or avoiding responsibility, to deal with punishment.
6. Negative Impact on Learning: Punishments can create a negative learning environment, affecting the child’s ability to concentrate and learn.

On the Positives of Disciplinary Punishments: It can be said that there are no real positives to traditional disciplinary punishments, especially for children.

Although some parents may believe that punishments like hitting or severe deprivation are effective in changing a child’s behavior, modern scientific research suggests that these methods have more negative side effects than positive ones.

Why Traditional Punishments Aren’t Effective:

1. Causing Fear: Instead of learning the correct behavior, children may focus on avoiding punishment, leading to fear of parents and a lack of trust.
2. Weakening Relationships: Repeated punishments destroy mutual trust between parents and children, negatively impacting family relationships.
3. Failure to Teach Correct Behavior: Punishments do not explain why the child’s behavior is wrong or how to correct it, only focusing on the punishment itself.
4. Potential for Future Behavioral Problems: Children subjected to severe punishments often develop behavioral problems like aggression, introversion, or other psychological disorders.
5. Impact on Emotional Development: Punishments may prevent children from developing social and emotional skills properly.

Healthy Alternatives to Traditional Punishments in Child-Rearing:
There is no doubt that traditional punishments have been part of parenting in many societies, including Syrian society. However, studies have shown that these punishments can backfire and harm a child’s mental and emotional health. Instead, there are many positive and effective ways to raise children and guide their behavior.

Positive Alternatives to Punishment:

1. Open Dialogue: Encouraging children to express their feelings and thoughts correctly and listening to them with attention and respect.
2. Positive Guidance: Instead of focusing on negative behavior, guiding the child toward the desired positive behavior.
3. Setting a Good Example: Parents should be role models for their children, reflecting the values and behaviors they want their children to learn.
4. Positive Reinforcement: Rewarding the child’s good behavior, whether with encouraging words or small material rewards.
5. Problem-Solving Collaboration: Involving the child in solving the problems they face, teaching them responsibility and decision-making.
6. Clear Boundaries: Setting clear and defined rules for the child and explaining the reasons behind these rules.
7. Natural Consequences: Allowing the child to face the natural consequences of their actions without resorting to external punishments.

In a previous article titled “Postmodern Era and Child-Rearing,” we discussed the importance of positive parenting as the best option and an alternative to traditional parenting. The significance of positive parenting lies in:

1. Building Strong Relationships: Positive parenting helps build a strong and solid relationship between parents and children, based on trust and mutual respect.
2. Boosting Self-Esteem: Positive parenting encourages children to trust in their abilities and potential.
3. Developing Social Skills: These methods help children develop social and communication skills, enabling them to interact positively with others.
4. Long-Term Behavioral Improvement: Unlike punishments that may lead to temporary behavioral changes, positive parenting works to change behavior permanently.

Challenges and Recommendations:

Changing parenting methods requires time and effort from parents, and they may face some difficulties at first.

Family Affairs Office
Research Team
Research and Studies Department
Articles
Syrian Future Movement (SFM)